Lately I have been suffering from an anger problem. Probably a little bit of jealousy, bitterness, stubbornness, pride, and a feeling of entitlement could be the source of all this bad stuff.
And boy is it bad. This heart of mine can become stinky, dirty, and dark with this nasty slime and not even a good scrubbing can get this crap off of my heart.
When I notice this has happened, or is starting to happen, or even if I am really paying attention, is about to happen, I have been trying a new thing.
I literally imagine my Jesus in front of me with hands open wide ready to take my dirty heart and give me a clean one in its place.
My Jesus the lover of my soul, my spouse and TRUE soul mate is looking at this dirty heart and without even a hint of a condemning tone asks me, "Katie, what happened?" More out of an appeal for me to share my despair than to punish me for messing up my heart again.
As I explain what exactly I think caused me to allow my heart get dirty HE returns a clean one to me instantly. Sometimes I am even still sharing with Jesus what happened and I get the clean heart dirty again. He joyfully takes it back and replaces it again.
Oh boy have I kept him busy lately.
Thank you Jesus for the gift of a clean heart! And thank you for always being ready to give it to me the minute I ask for it!! Allow me to let go of the things that have caused my heart to get so dirty, to TRUST you completely with all things; so that I can Love others the way you have called me to.
I love you Jesus!!!